Foodie Humor Lover Pillows

'I won't be gone long. He's going to show me where they make hamburgers.'

'I only seem to get fat in some places.'

'Hey French toast! My bread brothers! You wouldn't believe all the lies I've heard about you.'

Special: Steak $3.95. This steak is chewy, but it only cost $3.95. It's tough but fair!

'Oh my god, it's Jamie Oliver.'

Isaac Newton Discovers Gravlax

pickled onions...

"There - now it's a mashed potato. Anything else?"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

Lockdown casserole

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Murderous Chef

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'He's cured.'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

"I'll have the duck Poussin."

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'