Foodie Who Loves Humor Pillows

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

Employees must wear hair nets.

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"Careful. Plates are dirty."

Pie-rates of the Caribbean. Haiti £2.30 Jamaica £3.80

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Lockdown casserole

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie