Foodie Who Enjoys A Laugh Pillows

"If you weren't a donut you could be a model."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Ranch Dressing

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

"Trust you to pick a restaurant that serves indigestion tablets rather than after dinner mints."

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"There - now it's a mashed potato. Anything else?"

"May your year be pear-fect."

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

'Waiter, please bring that glass of water soon.'

Isaac Newton Discovers Gravlax

Kebab doner card

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

"....My wife and I are strict humanitarians."

"You all here? Sonny Primero? Big Guiseppe? Carmine? Al Fresco? Wait, where's Al Fresco?" "He's outside."

'Brace yourself, dear. The doctor says I'm allergic to lousy cooking.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'