Foodie For Laughs Pillows

One Type of Chicken Sandwich has only mayo...the other has only salad and no mayo. Rubbish!

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Bagel problems.

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Ranch Dressing

'The escargots are underdone.'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'