Foodie Who Enjoys Humor Pillows

Butchers playing draughts with black and white puddings

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Lockdown casserole

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

Bagel problems.

Murderous Chef

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'