Humor Loving Foodie Pillows

Factory Second Food

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

Lockdown casserole

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

Better Not Squash.

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Murderous Chef

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.