Foodie Who Appreciates Humor Pillows

Very Slow Service

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Better Not Squash.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Bagel problems.

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'