Foodie Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Would Sir like another candle"

What do you fancy?

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Lockdown casserole

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Better Not Squash.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'