Foodie Humor Buff Pillows

"Here - Orders for chili have to be put into writing."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Lockdown casserole

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).