Food Humor Aficionado Pillows

'I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians.'

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

"My scientific opinion? That is one big ass bacon."

"Every night it's Roll Play with you."

Even though he knew he would get nightmares, Jacques couldn't stop reading horror stories in bed.

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Filet minion

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Lockdown casserole

Garlic Free Zone.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Better Not Squash.

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."