Food And Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I thought you loved my coconut shrimp.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

Lockdown casserole

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Better Not Squash.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

Murderous Chef

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'He's cured.'

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'So this is a kitchen!'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."