Foodie Humor Buff Gifts

"Here - Orders for chili have to be put into writing."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Lockdown casserole

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Better Not Squash.

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'