Food Humor Appreciator Pillows

'Please, no - not the live fettucini!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

Menu Dating

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Lockdown casserole

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Garlic Free Zone.

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Deliboys

Better Not Squash.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'