Food Joke Appreciator Pillows

Waiter, why are there TWO flies in my soup? The second fly is the first fly's attorney.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Menu Dating

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

Better Not Squash.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'YAY! PATE!'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

Preserved

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"Hallelujah!"

Stay at home food pyramid

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'