Food Joke Appreciator Pillows

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Menu Dating

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Deliboys

"My guess it's guacamole."

Better Not Squash.

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Sisyphus Sawyer

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

'YAY! PATE!'

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

Preserved

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"Hallelujah!"

Stay at home food pyramid

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"