Gastronomic Jokester Pillows

'My compliments to the chef!'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Bangers and Mash

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

Onion operation.

International House of Excrement

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"What will change my life?"

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

"Some volcano roll!"

"I can recommend the steak if you've got your own teeth."

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."