Gastronomic Jokester Gifts

'My compliments to the chef!'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Bangers and Mash

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

Onion operation.

International House of Excrement

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"What will change my life?"

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

"I can recommend the steak if you've got your own teeth."

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."