Gourmet Jokesters Pillows

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Bangers and Mash

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Onion operation.

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"I like my steak well done."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'The stuff legends are made of'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

The mushroom pickers

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"What will change my life?"

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"