Joking Gourmet Pillows

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"I like my steak well done."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Stand back - while I whip something up

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

The mushroom pickers

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

"Some volcano roll!"

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"