Humor Gourmet Pillows

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

"I like my steak well done."

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Rice-A-Roni

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

Stand back - while I whip something up

'The stuff legends are made of'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

The mushroom pickers

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"What will change my life?"

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"Some volcano roll!"

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'Nice Touch!'

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

Holy Pizza

That was 16 items.

'Is this milk fresh?' - 'An hour ago it was grass.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

House of Beans.

"I say my dear, would you pass me some ice please - the fresh stuff, not that frozen rubbish."

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."