Satirical Gourmet Pillows

For Your Dining Pleasure

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

'Freeze Dried Nothing®. Directions: To make something out of NOTHING®, just add water.'

Man begs for his restaurant bill.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

"I like my steak well done."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Before I serve you dinner, it was in the chicken's last wishes that you watch his video will."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

'People soup again?'

The mushroom pickers

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'