Joking Gourmet Gifts

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

"I like my steak well done."

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Stand back - while I whip something up

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

The mushroom pickers

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

Chez Homework

"Some volcano roll!"

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."