Satirical Conservationist Gifts

Capitalist tree hugger

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

How life on Earth really got its start.

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

Recycling bottle bank.

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"The Nominees"

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

Ecotourism.

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

This is where Brent council sends you

Another hot flash?

Glimpses One Dollar

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

New uses for excess coal

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

Humpty the Game Warden

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"