Conservationist Comedian Gifts

'I've started to collect them.... soon I'll have a complete 'Badger set'!'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Penguin

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'...and this is the water garden...'

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

Where's my global warming?

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Ecotourism.

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

Alligator Bars

This is where Brent council sends you

"This is a terrible table!"

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

'A tortoise is coming toward us' 'I newt' 'I toad you' 'Great, I'm on Walden Pun.'

Crossing Guard to rabbit at Deer Crossing: 'Not so fast, buddy - you don't look like a deer to me!'