Conservation Humorist Gifts

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

Watching animals having sex at the zoo - "Well it doesn't look like an endangered species to me!"

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Recycling bottle bank.

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Ecotourism.

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

This is where Brent council sends you

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

"Rising sea levels."

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

You Are Here.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

Humpty the Game Warden

'It's a shame that valuable water gets wasted to wash cars or to take showers. It should be used responsible and for useful purposes only - for example to make whiskey.'

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

An snail shell with a chimney

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

Cactus Huggers

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"