Satirical Environmentalists Gifts

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

'I'm an atheist!'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"The Nominees"

Recycling bottle bank.

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

'...and this is the water garden...'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

This is where Brent council sends you

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"This is a terrible table!"

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

New uses for excess coal

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"Rising sea levels."

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

This Bus Runs on Punditry

You Are Here.

'Please inform groundskeeping that the green space is invading my personal space.'