Planet-saving Satirists Gifts

'I wouldn't consider you an environmentalist when your hybrid runs on half crude oil and half coal.'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

'I'm an atheist!'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

New uses for excess coal

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"An iceberg the size of Connecticut broke off from Antarctica? How do the taxes compare?"

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

'Please inform groundskeeping that the green space is invading my personal space.'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

Born Cynical,,,,

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

"And if what they say about global warming is true you should have year round use of the pool by 2075."

"I don't care about the pollution... you can't deliver babies dressed like that."

'That's the Government for you every time.'

'A long time ago we couldn't breathe their atmosphere..now it's really great!'

'We're polluting our ozone. Our icecaps are getting bigger, the oceans are shrinking....All because of our addiction to oxygen!'

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"