Sustainability Satirist Gifts

"What are we going to do about those air pollution complaints?"

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

"I had that done before the EU banned plastic."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Another hot flash?

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"An iceberg the size of Connecticut broke off from Antarctica? How do the taxes compare?"

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

New uses for excess coal

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

Paper Bath Towels.

'Please inform groundskeeping that the green space is invading my personal space.'

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

'How I love Global Warming... Otherwise, it would be necassary to look for a -BLEEARGH!- serious job!'

"And if what they say about global warming is true you should have year round use of the pool by 2075."

'I wouldn't consider you an environmentalist when your hybrid runs on half crude oil and half coal.'

"I don't care about the pollution... you can't deliver babies dressed like that."

'A long time ago we couldn't breathe their atmosphere..now it's really great!'

'That's the Government for you every time.'

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"