Sustainable Satire Buff Gifts

Fake ecologist

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Another hot flash?

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

New uses for excess coal

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

'He's going to a better place . . . possibly to power an '86 jetta.'

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

'Please inform groundskeeping that the green space is invading my personal space.'

Acme Coffee Co.

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

The Ultimate Green Office!

"And if what they say about global warming is true you should have year round use of the pool by 2075."

"I don't care about the pollution... you can't deliver babies dressed like that."