Sustainable Eating Satirist Gifts

"All the body parts were locally sourced."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Two vegans, please."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

The Official Covid-19 Diet

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Another hot flash?

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Spanx Tells Me No

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

New uses for excess coal

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

Paper Bath Towels.

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'It's a very common plant on earth.'