Sustainable Humorist Gifts

'With all the cards and wrapping paper, there's so much more recycling after Christmas.' (Hundreds of booze bottle behind him)

This is not my favourite 4B pencil....this is my 2B pencil, which I now use to halve my carbon footprint.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Where's my global warming?

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

The Joshua Tree

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

This is where Brent council sends you

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Rising sea levels."

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

Paper Bath Towels.

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

You Are Here.

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

An snail shell with a chimney

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."