Eco-aware Humorist Gifts

I'm fully aware of the mission for a paperless society, but can I please have a toilet-roll for the gents?

Comedy Club: Tonight's Topic, Global Warming.

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Winter Weather.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...and this is the water garden...'

Where's my global warming?

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

This is where Brent council sends you

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

The Joshua Tree

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

You Are Here.

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

'It's true! Our clothes, the curtains, the carpeting in the waiting room... they're all made out of recycled dental floss!'