Climate-conscious Humorist Gifts

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

'It's an extinction notice.'

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Icebergs talk about CNN appearance and looking thin on TV.

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

This is where Brent council sends you

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

Minnesota Weather.

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

You Are Here.

US Winter Weather Map.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

M&S goes green - Carbon Neutralising Underpants.

Welcome to the North Pole

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.