Climate Conscious Comedian Gifts

"What's all the bickering about? This is extra environmentally friendly concrete that can be colonized by aquatic animals!"

'It's an extinction notice.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Where's my global warming?

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

This is where Brent council sends you

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

Paper Bath Towels.

Will work for manure.

US Winter Weather Map.

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."