Eco-friendly Comedian Gifts

"Today is Earth Day! A day to restore wildlife habitats to their original condition!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Where's my global warming?

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

The Joshua Tree

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

This is where Brent council sends you

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

"This is a terrible table!"

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

Paper Bath Towels.

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

Will work for manure.

You Are Here.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"