Eco-conscious Comedians Gifts

'I guess your mom thought it was better to give it away than to be sued by the garbage collectors for environmental pollution!'

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

"I'm naming my invention 'Tesla'."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

Where's my global warming?

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

Paper Bath Towels.

Will work for manure.

igloo smoking zone...

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

"The water feature doubles as a plunge pool."

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

'Gene Pool'

Well, good luck evolving, son, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! You know, like destroy the planet or something.

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

Recycled humor.

'How can anyone say our factory isn't green? Most of our waste is that colour!'

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

Tofurkey.

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.