Eco-comedians Gifts

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

'Global warming? I smell fish sticks!!'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Water company bonus.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

Where's my global warming?

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

The Joshua Tree

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

Will work for manure.

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

igloo smoking zone...

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"I'm just planting invasive species this year. Let them kill each other."

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

'Stand-up climatologist...'

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

We're cutting down on packaging...so open wide!

'How can anyone say our factory isn't green? Most of our waste is that colour!'

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

Despite the abundance of giant corks on the frontier, zero emission vehicles never caught on in the Old West.

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

'If it'll make you any happier, we're biodegradable, too.'

"The idea is simple. You pay us money and all your sins disappear! It's just like purchasing carbon offsets."

If Global Warming is a left wing plot...it's a very good one.