Eco Comedian Gifts

Will work for manure.

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'How long have you had these hot spots?'

"Environmentally correct food is so important! I use a salad leaf as a side dish for at least four steaks before I throw it away!"

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

'If it'll make you any happier, we're biodegradable, too.'

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...and this is the water garden...'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

Where's my global warming?

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

The Joshua Tree

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"This is a terrible table!"

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

Paper Bath Towels.

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

You Are Here.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"