Eco Comedian Pillows

Will work for manure.

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'How long have you had these hot spots?'

"Environmentally correct food is so important! I use a salad leaf as a side dish for at least four steaks before I throw it away!"

'What kind of mileage do you get?'

'If it'll make you any happier, we're biodegradable, too.'

Tofurkey.

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...and this is the water garden...'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Where's my global warming?

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

The Joshua Tree

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

Paper Bath Towels.

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.