Eco-conscious Comedian Gifts

"Wait - use a knife. It's greener."

Buoy with message: 'On this site will be erected a beautiful new twelve story drilling platform that will pump 10,000 barrels of oil a day'.

"If we're going dairy-free, does that mean you-know-who goes back to the barn?"

"The idea is simple. You pay us money and all your sins disappear! It's just like purchasing carbon offsets."

Where's my global warming?

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

'And I say your hot air is contributing to global warming!'

Acid Rain joke

'Pick your own 'Free Range' genetically modified produce'

"We installed the lights so the solar panels continue to work through the night."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Winter Weather.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...and this is the water garden...'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

This is where Brent council sends you

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

The Joshua Tree

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

Paper Bath Towels.