Environmental Comedy Gifts

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Damn! I forgot the Thermos flask."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

Water company bonus.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

Where's my global warming?

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"This is a terrible table!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Rising sea levels."

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Will work for manure.

You Are Here.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

Now do you believe in global warming?!

igloo smoking zone...

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"No, I don't recycle."

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'