Environmentally Conscious Humor Gifts

'There was another oil industry ad on TV yesterday!. . . Chipmunks and a squirrel were cavorting on the oil sands!'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

Tomorrow's world 2165.

'...and this is the water garden...'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

You Are Here.

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

"No, I don't recycle."

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

An snail shell with a chimney

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

Now do you believe in global warming?!

Prepare to meet thy recycler.

"Better imaginary than extinct."