Environmentally Aware Humorist Gifts

Bag for Afterlife

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

Winter Weather.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Recycling bottle bank.

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Where's my global warming?

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

This is where Brent council sends you

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

You Are Here.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

Now do you believe in global warming?!

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"