Humorist In Environmental Issues Gifts

'They laughed when I told them I wanted to be a pole-squatter. . . they're not laughing now.'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

Recycling bottle bank.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"The Nominees"

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'...and this is the water garden...'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

This is where Brent council sends you

Trump to Build Wall

Another hot flash?

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"This is a terrible table!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

New uses for excess coal

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

"Rising sea levels."

'Apparently you haven't heard, Hawkins, about things going paperless!'