Sustainable Food Satirist Gifts

"Just trying to get in on that whole 'farm-to-table' thing..."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Two vegans, please."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

How life on Earth really got its start.

Winter Weather.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'People soup again?'

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

New uses for excess coal

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."