Organic Food Humorist Gifts

"I hope that's organic produce you're using!"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Two vegans, please."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'The Burrito King.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Garlic Free Zone.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"