Healthy Food Humorist Gifts

'I love broccoli, but not enough to eat it.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Lesser known greek gods,

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Cat eats date.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'