Healthy Food Humorist Gifts

'I love broccoli, but not enough to eat it.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Cat eats date.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'