Eco-minded Jokesters Gifts

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

The Joshua Tree

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

Person made from 100% recycled materials.

...and there's no shortage of natural gas!

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

"I'm just planting invasive species this year. Let them kill each other."

'Gene Pool'

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

'Stand-up climatologist...'

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

We're cutting down on packaging...so open wide!

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

Despite the abundance of giant corks on the frontier, zero emission vehicles never caught on in the Old West.

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

"This material is 80% recycled."

Trees talking, "Hey your roots are showing"

I'm fully aware of the mission for a paperless society, but can I please have a toilet-roll for the gents?

Phone Book Removal Service.

'And I'm pleased to report that we were able to reduce our carbon footprint...'

'Of course it's worth it, think of the water we're saving.'

"Without social media how would everyone know that I was vegan?"

Will work for locally grown food.