Ironic Environmentalists Gifts

'I consider myself an environmentalist since I plan to convert woodlands into gold putting greens.'

Winter Weather.

Recycling bottle bank.

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

Trump to Build Wall

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'Apparently you haven't heard, Hawkins, about things going paperless!'

This Bus Runs on Punditry

'Please inform groundskeeping that the green space is invading my personal space.'

Cactus Huggers

Food Chain Gang

How many trees were cut down to get the paper necessary to print your book?

'It's a shame that valuable water gets wasted to wash cars or to take showers. It should be used responsible and for useful purposes only - for example to make whiskey.'

Sign - Do not feed the bears. Bear - 'Those signs have caused a substantial reduction in weight, a lowering of blood pressure and a significant drop in cholesterol...'

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

Vulture proclaims its love for highways; black and white version

'The Mayor is going to be thrilled -- I found a way to fill potholes with toxic waste!'

"They're nice, but not as efficient as my coal-powered chimes."

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

'And just what studies show that losing weight causes global warming?'

"Now that my new bikini arrived, I am ready for global warming."

Leave Only Footprints, Take Only Photos.

"I, too, want to preserve the environment, just as it is: acid rain, holes in the ozone layer, lots of crap in the air."

"...We could be talking waterfront here!"

Save the Files on the Cloud.

"This material is 80% recycled."

If the Moses story happened today...

'It's a program on conserving energy.'

I club baby seals.

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

'Fools! They are destroying the world! I wanted to do that!'

Man in Gas-Guzzling Car wearing Gas Mask