Santa Humorist Gifts

No fax, no e-mail, no web page! And you expect people to believe in you?

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Ten Commandments

Guru.

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

R.C.I.A.

Praying Mantis.

Regifts of the Magi

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

OM, SWEET OM

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Moses' TV guide.

Applause

Om and Ommer

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Santa Elevator

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.