Santa Humorists Gifts

'What is clausophobia?' - 'Fear of Father Christmas.'

Santa pees his name in rooftop snow.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Ten Commandments

Guru.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

R.C.I.A.

Praying Mantis.

Regifts of the Magi

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

OM, SWEET OM

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Om and Ommer

Moses' TV guide.

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

Santa Elevator

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

God's Phone

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Cross Umbrella

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'