Santa Humorists Gifts

'What is clausophobia?' - 'Fear of Father Christmas.'

Santa pees his name in rooftop snow.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Ten Commandments

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Guru.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Praying Mantis.

Regifts of the Magi

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

For instance, a $25 delivery charge. You'd clean up right there.

OM, SWEET OM

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

Moses' TV guide.

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

Santa Elevator

God's Phone

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."